Election 04 Issues on Thu Sep 23 00:53:15 2004

by Sloat

Many serious issues are at the heart of the upcoming election:
- Iraq
- The Economy
- Everything else

But one of the most repeatedly dodged issues by both major party candidates is the creation of another BBS on liek.net.
Both the president and the challenger have offered little insight in to their position on the matter.

In a secret presidential debate (although not actually secret, it was scheduled during Monday Night Football, so no one on earth watched it), both candidates were posed the question: "Should liek.net get another BBS?"

John Kerry responded first: "I was a hero in Vietnam. And when I was in Vietnam, I served my country with distinction. In Vietnam, I went on secret missions, on which I served with honor. What I know is, that if President Bush had gone to Vietnam, I would have been totally better in comparison. Other than that, I agree with whatever he is about to say."

President Bush rebutted: "Nukyulur weapons..."
Mediator: "Uh.."
Bush: "No wait, I'm not done. 'Merica will win against terrorism. If John 'The Fairy' Kerry is elected, it will be total disaster. Not only will the terrorists win, but the Earth will crumble and armageddon will rain down from the sky as if God himself was pissing tobasco. Now, I'm an optimist...but the World will weep, cradled in its own blood high atop the mountain of sorrow if John Kerry is elected."

"Oh yeah, I like him but he's wrong and he sucks."

Third party candidate Zorlon for the Federated Monster Party spoke at a press conference in slightly more cryptic terms:
"Ob jyal N'gaht! Tuhni Algalham jo' Nt-eht mia ollap tyr na niquon!"

Reached for comment about the statements the candidates have made, liek.net maintainer Matt said, "No, there will never be another liek.net BBS. Now the country can move on to more pressing issues, like Britney's wedding."

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